


numb me

by camboy_hynjin



Series: use me [3]
Category: ONEUS (Band), ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Keonhee, Bunny Keonhee, Canon Compliant, Dacryphilia, Denial of Feelings, Dom Son Dongmyeong, Established Relationship, Feelings, Friends With Benefits, Light Bondage, M/M, Pet Names, Porn With Plot, Sex in Someone Else's Bed, Sub Lee Keonhee, Vers Dongmyeong, light degradation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:15:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26688769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camboy_hynjin/pseuds/camboy_hynjin
Summary: “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”Keonhee pauses in his dramatics, looking up at Dongmyeong with wide eyes. The light catches them in a way that makes them sparkle, reminding Dongmyeong of how pretty they look when they’re glistening with tears.“Since you and I fooled around?”
Relationships: Lee Keonhee/Son Dongmyeong, referenced Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongju | Xion, referenced Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongmyeong, referenced Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Son Dongmyeong
Series: use me [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918399
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	numb me

**Author's Note:**

> This is the third part of the _use me_ series, and makes most sense if you read the first two installments, _use me_ and _hit me_ , first. Each of these fics has a different main pairing though, so if you're just here for the Keonhee smut, that part should be able to stand on its own. 
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy! <3

Keonhee breaks the news over coffee. He and Dongmyeong are camped out in ONEWE’s trailer, avoiding the heat in between takes on the set of the band’s new music video for “End of Spring.” Dongmyeong sips at his iced Americano, listening to Keonhee babble on about everything ONEUS have been up to since the groups last met up a month ago. Keonhee pauses to take a drink of his own coffee, and then his eyes light up like he’s just remembered something crucial. 

“Oh! Did you hear about Geonhak and Dongju?” 

Dongmyeong pauses, coffee straw halfway to his mouth. “What about Geonhak and Dongju?” 

Keonhee grins, face lighting up with excitement at being the one to share this gossip with Dongmyeong. “I caught them making out in the bathroom last night. Dummies forgot to lock the door. Geonhak-hyung’s face was as red as a tomato the rest of the night, I swear.” 

“Ew, gross.” Dongmyeong wrinkles his nose at the comparison to one of his least favorite foods. He can picture it easily, though: Geonhak flushed with embarrassment, refusing to make eye contact with Keonhee; Dongju probably giggly and covering his gummy smile. 

They didn’t tell him. Which is fine, they don’t have to. But Dongju is his twin brother, and even when they’re both busy they still text each other at least once every day. And Geonhak... 

Dongmyeong’s head suddenly floods with memories from the last time he saw Geonhak. The ache in Dongmyeong’s knees from kneeling on the practice room floor in front of Geonhak for so long. The weight of Geonhak’s hand, rough and solid as he slapped Dongmyeong’s across the face. Dongmyeong still has the photo of himself in his camera roll, face smeared with makeup and red handprints, ruined in the aftermath. 

Geonhak bristled when Dongmyeong mentioned Dongju. He suspected, even then, that it might mean Geonhak’s feelings for Dongju were developing into something more serious. He’s not surprised to learn he was right, but this means Geonhak only fooled around with him in an effort to bury his feelings for Dongju. And Dongmyeong doesn’t want to admit, even to himself, that he sought out Geonhak for similar reasons. 

“You’re not happy for them?” Keonhee asks, mistaking Dongmyeong’s reaction for disapproval of the pairing. 

Dongmyeong shrugs, sipping at his coffee to try and clear his head. “Of course I am. It’s been obvious to everyone but the two of them they liked each other. Glad they finally figured their shit out.” 

Keonhee nods in agreement, bright smile returning to his face. “Right... shame you and Geonhak-hyung won’t get to ‘exercise’ anymore though.” He does air quotes with his fingers around the word exercise, and Dongmyeong stares at him, wide-eyed. 

“How do you know about that?” 

Keonhee laughs. “The practice rooms, Myeong, really? Did you think I forgot how we snuck off there to make out when we were trainees?” 

Now it’s Dongmyeong’s turn to flush, hoping the tan he’s gotten recently will hide it. 

“Plus he comes back to the dorm smelling like sex every time. I’m not an idiot.” 

Dongmyeong smacks his arm, the way he’ll hit Dongju or his bandmates sometimes—playfully, with no intention to hurt. But Keonhee’s dramatic ass acts as if he’s been mortally wounded, moaning dramatically in pain, and the sound shoots right to Dongmyeong’s gut. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

Keonhee pauses in his dramatics, looking up at Dongmyeong with wide eyes. The light catches them in a way that makes them sparkle, reminding Dongmyeong of how pretty they look when they’re glistening with tears.

“Since you and I fooled around?” 

The blush that rises to Keonhee’s cheeks makes it clear he didn’t intend the conversation to go this way. “We’re on the set of your music video shoot.” 

“Oh, I didn’t mean now.” Dongmyeong’s in his element, now that he has the upper hand over Keonhee. “But if you have a free day in your schedule before we start promos...” 

Instead of answering him verbally, Keonhee cuts him off by cupping Dongmyeong’s face in his large hands, leaning in to crash their lips together. It’s clumsy; Dongmyeong can’t remember how long it’s been since they last kissed, and their mouths are out of practice with each other. But Keonhee always kisses with a kind of urgency that makes Dongmyeong crave more, and he has to place his hands over Keonhee’s and physically pry them apart to keep himself from giving into the temptation. He can’t shoot the rest of his music video with kiss-swollen lips. 

“I’ll take that as a yes?” Dongmyeong asks, licking his lips. They taste like Keonhee’s vanilla lip balm. 

Keonhee nods. “1000% yes.” 

It’s a couple weeks before they both manage to find a free day, Dongmyeong busy with comeback preparations and Keonhee practicing and filming for the competition show _Road to Kingdom_ that ONEUS are competing on. Dongmyeong has nearly given up on the idea when Keonhee texts him late one night. 

“Sorry this is last minute, but I just found out we have a free day tomorrow. The members are all going out, but I convinced them I wanted to stay home and practice more. The dorm will be empty if you wanna come over?” 

It’s an innocent enough message, and wordier than it needs to be. It's so Keonhee. 

Dongmyeong’s only realizing now just how much he missed the older boy. They spent a lot of time together as trainees, when Dongmyeong briefly entertained being an idol singer and went to _Produce 101_ with Keonhee. They don’t get to see each other as much now that their career paths have diverged again, and there’s a part of Dongmyeong that misses the stolen kisses in supply closets and empty dorm rooms. 

“Of course! I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.” 

Keonhee greets him at the door, like a puppy who’s been waiting all day for his owner to return from work. His eyes are bright and sparkly, grin stretched wide across his face as he pulls Dongmyeong in for a hug. 

“Someone’s excited,” Dongmyeong giggles, wrapping his arms around Keonhee’s waist and inhaling his scent. He smells like vanilla and cotton. He smells like memories. 

“Is it a bad thing?” Keonhee asks. 

Dongmyeong shakes his head. “It’s cute,” he assures him. “You’re cute.” Keonhee smiles, and Dongmyeong lifts his head to look up at him. “Kiss me?” 

It’s like that’s the cue Keonhee was waiting for, because the instant Dongmyeong says it, Keonhee’s lips are on his again, warm and wet and plush. Dongmyeong doesn’t kiss a lot when he fucks, usually. But Keonhee’s always loved kissing, ever since they were teenagers and the intentions were a lot more innocent. So Dongmyeong indulges, sucking Keonhee’s full bottom lip into his mouth. 

The whimper that leaves the other boy is instantaneous. Dongmyeong had almost forgotten how sensitive Keonhee is, how intensely he reacts to each and every sensation. It's going to be fun to play with him now that Dongmyeong has more experience and knows better how to break him apart. 

“What do you want, baby?” Dongmyeong asks when the kiss breaks, loving the way Keonhee shivers when Dongmyeong’s warm breath fans over his lips. 

“W-what am I allowed to ask for?” 

“Anything you want,” Dongmyeong says, pecking Keonhee’s lips again as his own lips curve into a smirk. “That doesn’t mean you’ll get it, though.” 

Keonhee whimpers again, and a rush of power floods through Dongmyeong’s body. “I want… to be good,” he says quietly, avoiding Dongmyeong’s gaze. 

“Is that so, baby bunny?” Dongmyeong tries, watching Keonhee closely for his reaction. He sees his breath catch in his throat, and that’s all the answer Dongmyeong needs. If Keonhee’s a rabbit, Dongmyeong is the trap. “Then take me to your bedroom.” 

Keonhee’s hand finds his, clumsily lacing their fingers together as he tugs Dongmyeong in the direction of the bedroom he shares with Hwanwoong and Dongju, but he suddenly stops short in front of the doorway. “I’m on the top bunk,” he says, and Dongmyeong knew that, but he hadn’t really considered how uncomfortable that would be until now. He isn’t really looking to bash his head against the ceiling of Keonhee’s dorm, which has a fair chance of happening with how high up Keonhee’s bed is. And they can’t go back to Dongmyeong’s dorm, because Dongmyeong’s members are there. 

Dongmyeong hums in thought, a bad idea rolling off his tongue before he can stop it. “What about one of the other’s beds?” 

Keonhee’s eyes widen, alarmed. “We can’t. Dongju has too many plushies on his bed, and Hwanwoong would probably hurt me if he found out we used his. He’s at perfect knee-kicking height, you know.” 

“I didn’t say it had to be one of your roommates,” Dongmyeong points out. He’s had sex in this dorm enough times to know there’s one bed kept clear of everything but blankets and pillows, a bottom bunk so they wouldn’t have to worry about hitting their heads on the ceiling. His heart is racing, unable to stop this horrible idea now that it’s spawned in his brain. “What about Youngjo’s?” 

Keonhee’s expression is unreadable. “That’s a horrible idea.” 

Dongmyeong knows this, he knows it deep in his bones. It’s so wrong to have sex in someone else’s bed without their permission. But it’s their only practical option. And now that he’s thought about it, Dongmyeong wants to. He wants to get caught, for Youngjo to know exactly what he and Keonhee have been up to, even if he finds out in the worst way possible. 

He’s a horrible person, isn’t he? 

Keonhee bites his lip, worrying the tender skin beneath his teeth. “If you get in trouble, blame me,” Dongmyeong says, trying to soothe his nerves. “It’s my idea.” 

Keonhee sighs, looking resigned. “Why do I listen to you?” 

Dongmyeong smiles, knowing he’s won. “Because you’re a submissive little bitch and you’ll do anything I say.” Keonhee flushes at that, but he doesn’t deny it, and his eyes gloss over a little with lust. Dongmyeong can’t wait to ruin him. 

He grabs Keonhee’s hand, tugging him in the direction of the hyungs’ room, and Keonhee follows obediently. Dongmyeong knows which bed is Youngjo’s maybe a little too well, pushing Keonhee down onto the mattress before climbing on top of him. 

This won’t be the first time Dongmyeong has sex in Youngjo’s bed; of course, the times before were all with Youngjo. 

Keonhee loops his arms around Dongmyeong’s neck, pulling him down for another kiss. Dongmyeong shuts his eyes and breathes deeply through his nose, and the muted sweetness of Keonhee’s scent is almost drowned out by the strong smell of Youngjo’s cologne clinging to his sheets. Dongmyeong feels his blood rushing, and he kisses Keonhee harder, not wanting to think about what that means. 

“Hands off,” Dongmyeong mumbles after a few moments, and Keonhee obliges, letting his arms fall to rest limp on the sheets. “Glad you can listen to instructions, bunny.” 

Keonhee whines again, hips jerking involuntarily, and Dongmyeong giggles, lifting himself up so Keonhee doesn’t get the pleasure of friction. Keonhee lets out another pitiful whine. 

“Patience, sweetheart. I want to take my time playing with you.” 

Keonhee pouts, hands clenching and unclenching on the sheets, obviously wanting to touch. 

“What do you say, bunny?” Dongmyeong asks, settling his weight on top of Keonhee again and rolling his hips, making the older boy moan in pleasure. 

“Please,” he begs, looking up at Dongmyeong with wide sparkly eyes. “Please please please, I’ll be good, I’ll be so good, just let me touch, Myeongie, please?” 

Dongmyeong hums, pretending to consider it as he rolls his hips again, relishing in the anguished whimper it draws forth from Keonhee. “Good boy for remembering your manners. But no, not right now.” 

Keonhee kicks his legs, and Dongmyeong can’t stifle his giggle. It’s been three years since they were on _Produce 101_ together, and Keonhee hasn’t really matured in that time. He’s still just as whiny and petulant as ever, even if he hides it better for the cameras now. 

“Don’t be a brat,” Dongmyeong warns. “I was just saying how well behaved you were, wasn’t I? Be patient and don’t pitch a fit. Unless you want me to leave you like this?” 

Keonhee’s eyes widen, alarmed. “Please don’t.” 

“Then behave,” Dongmyeong warns. “Don’t give me a reason to leave you.” 

Keonhee goes quiet, nibbling his lip again, and Dongmyeong takes that as a sign to continue. “Let’s get some of these clothes off you, yeah?” He reaches for the hem of Keonhee’s shirt, and Keonhee’s breath catches, sensitive skin exposed to the cool air as Dongmyeong tugs his shirt off. 

Keonhee is pretty. Dongmyeong has always thought this; when they were competing against each other on _Produce 101_ , Keonhee’s slender frame and long limbs were something Dongmyeong envied. Now, he can appreciate his body for the work of art it is, letting his eyes roam over every inch of Keonhee’s exposed skin, watching the way he flushes under Dongmyeong’s gaze. 

“Is it okay if I leave marks where no one will see?” Dongmyeong checks, flicking his eyes up to Keonhee’s face to watch his reaction. 

He seems to be thinking it over, probably trying to remember if he has any schedule coming up where skin that’s normally covered might be exposed. “Go ahead,” he says finally. 

Dongmyeong attaches his lips to Keonhee’s prominent collarbone, sucking lightly, and Keonhee shivers beneath him. “Be still, baby,” Dongmyeong murmurs, hands moving to Keonhee’s hips to hold him down. 

Keonhee whines, squirming in his grip. “N-not fair, you know it’s hard for me.” And he’s right, Dongmyeong knows very well how difficult it is for Keonhee to stay still. There’s a reason he’s relegated to the top bunk in the dorm: he kicks in his sleep, something Dongmyeong learned the hard way when they dormed together years ago and he had the top bunk above Keonhee. 

“Do I need to tie you up?” he teases, biting at Keonhee’s collarbone. He can’t tell if the pained whimper he gets from Keonhee is in response to his actions or his words, so he pauses, looking at him. 

“Would you want that?” he asks. 

Keonhee’s skin turns pink, a giveaway before he even responds. “I don’t have anything to…” 

“That wasn’t the question,” Dongmyeong cuts him off. “Yes or no, Keonhee?” 

He doesn’t respond immediately, face flushing deeper. Dongmyeong is pretty confident he knows Keonhee’s answer, but he won’t do anything without a verbal confirmation. “You have to tell me or it’s not happening.” 

“Yes!” Keonhee finally blurts, turning his head to avoid Dongmyeong’s gaze. 

“Yes what, baby?” 

“Yes, I… I want you to tie me up.” 

Dongmyeong cups Keonhee’s face, turning it back towards him so he can reward him with a peck on the lips. “Good boy. I’ll find something we can work with, yeah?” 

He gets up off of Keonhee, taking a step back from the bed to survey the situation. He doesn’t really want to go rifling through any of the ONEUS members’ things without permission, especially not for something as illicit as this, so he tries to think of ways to improvise with what they have. “Your shirt!” he realizes, and Keonhee tilts his head, confused. “I can tie your wrists up with your shirt,” Dongmyeong explains. 

Keonhee lifts his arms up over his head before Dongmyeong even needs to give him further instruction. It should be nice, how obedient Keonhee is, so eager to follow directions. But it feels too easy. Dongmyeong loves having power over others, but he finds himself missing the struggle for dominance he gets from Youngjo. Or maybe he just misses the person who gives him that struggle. 

“Pants off first,” he commands, and Keonhee is quick to follow that order too. “I don’t want to have to do all the work here.” 

“Right,” Keonhee mumbles, tossing his pants on the ground. Dongmyeong picks up Keonhee’s discarded shirt before joining him back on the bed. Keonhee’s wrists are already in position, and it doesn’t take long for Dongmyeong to tie them together, securing them to Youngjo’s headboard. 

“Not too tight?” he checks. Keonhee tests the bonds before shaking his head. “Good. Now, kiss me.” 

Keonhee lifts himself up as best he can without using his hands, and Dongmyeong giggles at his efforts before leaning down to meet him, tugging Keonhee’s bottom lip between his teeth. He trails his hand down Keonhee’s body, delighting in the tiny sounds of pleasure Keonhee lets out that he immediately swallows up. 

“You’re gonna be a good bunny, right?” Dongmyeong murmurs between kisses, squeezing Keonhee’s bare thigh. Keonhee’s cock twitches in his boxers, and he lets out a choked moan as his face reddens. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Dongmyeong teases, kissing his way down Keonhee’s body. He can tell the older boy is trying to stay still, but he can’t help squirming underneath him, especially when Dongmyeong stops right above the waistband of his boxers. 

“Please,” he begs. 

Dongmyeong nips at the soft flesh of his stomach, looking up at him. “You’re not the one calling the shots, bunny.” 

It’s clear Keonhee is weak for that pet name, evident by the way his eyes glaze over a little when Dongmyeong says it. He tugs Keonhee’s boxers off and isn’t surprised at all to see him hard and flushed, already leaking a little. Dongmyeong swipes his index finger over the head, teasing, before sucking his finger into his mouth. 

It’s not the worst thing he’s ever tasted, but he still has to stop himself from scrunching his nose in disgust. Probably all that damn coffee Keonhee drinks, which Dongmyeong supposes he’s a hypocrite to criticize, but Geonhak and even Youngjo taste better than this. So a blowjob is off the table, but that’s alright, he’d rather do something where he can watch Keonhee squirm anyway. 

“Do you have lube?” he checks. 

Keonhee nods quickly. “It’s in the top drawer of the dresser in my room. Behind the socks. Condoms are there too.” 

“I’ll be right back,” Dongmyeong promises, getting up to go retrieve the lube and a condom from Keonhee’s room. They’re hidden well enough behind Keonhee’s socks that it’s not immediately obvious upon opening the drawer, but easy to find if you know what you’re looking for, which Dongmyeong does. Dongmyeong also knows there’s a nicer brand of lube in one of Youngjo’s drawers that’s already half-empty from how much they’ve used it, but he’s not going to use that now without Youngjo knowing. 

He has to draw the line somewhere, right? 

When Dongmyeong re-enters the room, lube and condom in hand, Keonhee immediately spreads his legs. 

“So fucking needy,” Dongmyeong says, the words familiar on his lips in a way that makes his heart burn with something he doesn’t want to think about. He said them to Youngjo the last time they slept together. 

Keonhee pouts, all plush lips and sparkly eyes. “Can’t help it,” he whines, even as Dongmyeong settles between his long legs, uncapping the lube and squeezing some onto his fingers. 

“Hold still,” Dongmyeong warns, knowing from experience how kicky Keonhee can get when he’s fingered. “If you kick me in the face again, I’ll fucking bite you.” 

Keonhee flushes at the reminder. “That was one time.” 

“One time too many.” With that, Dongmyeong presses his finger against Keonhee’s rim, waiting for him to relax before he presses it in. 

The moan that Keonhee lets out is loud and immediate, and Dongmyeong grins, loving how intensely he reacts to only the slightest touch. 

“So sensitive,” he coos, pressing his finger in deeper. Keonhee’s legs twitch, but he manages to have enough self-control to keep himself from kicking. “Good bunny,” Dongmyeong praises, watching as more pre-cum dribbles out of Keonhee’s cock. “You really like that, don’t you? Being my bunny?” 

Keonhee makes an unintelligible choked noise, tugging at his restraints. 

“Yes or no question, sweetheart.” 

Keonhee shuts his eyes tight, clearly flustered. Dongmyeong takes this opportunity to slide another finger in, making Keonhee cry out in surprise. “Fuck! Y-yes, I like it...” 

Dongmyeong takes pity, pressing a sweet kiss to the inside of Keonhee’s thigh. “That’s why you’re so needy, isn’t it? You’re just a dumb little bunny that needs to be fucked.” 

Keonhee keens, high and whiny in the back of his throat. Dongmyeong doesn’t top very often, he usually prefers power bottoming or non-penetrative activities in the bedroom, but fuck, he feels a primal urge to be inside Keonhee right now, to hold him down and fuck him until he cries. 

“Tell me I’m right,” Dongmyeong says, adding a third finger without warning. Keonhee is already tearing up, eyes shimmering in the fluorescent light of the dorm. 

“Y-you’re right,” Keonhee whimpers. “Please, please, Myeongie, please just...” He kicks his legs impatiently, channeling his frustration into his actions since he’s having trouble with words. 

Dongmyeong withdraws his fingers, and Keonhee cries out at the sudden loss. “No, no, please!” 

“Relax.” Dongmyeong chuckles, smoothing his clean hand over Keonhee’s thigh to soothe him. “I can’t fuck you with my fingers inside you, can I?” 

That seems to do the trick. Keonhee stills, eyes wide and hopeful. “You’re really going to?” They’ve fooled around before, but it very rarely escalated to proper sex, more often taking the form of rushed handjobs or fingering each other. 

“If that’s what you want, yeah.” Dongmyeong watches Keonhee, waiting for him to confirm it with a nod before he gets up, finally stripping out of his own clothes and tossing them onto the floor. He tears open the condom and slides it on, then fumbles for the lube, slicking himself up quickly before settling back between Keonhee’s legs. 

Keonhee’s breathing is labored already, chest rising and falling unevenly just with the anticipation of what’s to come. “Relax,” Dongmyeong reminds him, cupping Keonhee’s face with his clean hand and capturing his lips in a sweet kiss to try and calm him down. Keonhee submits immediately, lips parting to let Dongmyeong slip his tongue inside. 

It's different with Keonhee than what Dongmyeong’s grown used to. He was one of the first boys Dongmyeong kissed when they were teenagers, but they haven‘t done this sort of thing much since they grew older and Dongmyeong started sleeping with the other boys in their bands. He's not used to the sweet kisses anymore, the way Keonhee submits to Dongmyeong’s will so easily, how he cries not because Dongmyeong’s being mean but because he wants to be good so badly. It’s tender, almost loving, and maybe there’s a part of Dongmyeong that wants more of this. 

But the person he wants it with isn’t Keonhee. 

He pushes in, and Keonhee cries out, wrapping his long legs around Dongmyeong’s waist. Dongmyeong doesn’t wait for him to adjust, thrusting his hips blindly, like he’s only interested in chasing his own pleasure. Really, he’s just trying to do something, anything, to keep the thoughts in his head at bay. He makes the mistake of breathing in deeply, and Keonhee’s clean sweet scent is completely overpowered by Youngjo’s cologne clinging to the sheets. Dongmyeong’s stomach twists, and not in a good way. 

The sound of Keonhee sobbing brings him back to reality. Dongmyeong looks at him and sees tears running down his cheeks already, limbs desperately tugging against their bonds. He reaches up to untie him, taking pity on him, and Keonhee immediately wraps his arms around him too, clinging to him like a koala. 

“It’s okay,” Dongmyeong soothes him, running his hands through Keonhee’s hair. “It’s okay, bunny, I’ve got you.” 

He feels small with Keonhee clinging to him like this. He doesn’t like it, doesn’t like feeling like he’s not in control. He slides a hand under Keonhee’s thigh, lifting it up so he can reach a deeper angle, and Keonhee gasps loudly when Dongmyeong finds the angle he’s searching for. Dongmyeong may be out of practice with topping, but he still knows how to use his hips and work what he’s got. 

“Fuck, Myeongie, fuck,” Keonhee babbles. 

“That’s right, bunny, just lie there and take it.” Dongmyeong leans in to bite Keonhee’s collarbone again, and Keonhee writhes beneath him, clenching around him beautifully. He wants to make Keonhee cum. He wants this to be over with. 

“Please,” Keonhee begs, and Dongmyeong doesn’t even know what he’s begging for. 

“Please what?” 

“Please, just...” He cuts himself off with a strangled whine, and Dongmyeong reaches between their bodies, wrapping his hand around Keonhee’s cock. Moments later, Keonhee is spilling into his hand with a loud cry, and Dongmyeong buries himself inside him, heart racing as he cums too. 

He feels a wave of guilt wash over him after, the kind he hasn’t felt since he was a teen and thought masturbating was a sin. He shouldn’t have done this. Not in Youngjo’s bed, and maybe not with Keonhee at all. 

He moves to get up, and Keonhee hugs him tighter, murmuring “Myeongie...?” He sounds sleepy and sated. Dongmyeong can’t just ditch him. 

“Relax,” he says softly. “I just need to... get a towel or something to clean us up.” 

Keonhee mumbles his assent, relaxing his hold on Dongmyeong enough for him to be able to pull out. He ties the condom up, wincing when he realizes he’s going to have to carry it all the way out to the bathroom to throw it away. Gross. 

He lets Keonhee rest while he cleans him up, giving him a chance to come down from his high. He knows Keonhee likes to cuddle in the afterglow, so when Dongmyeong thinks he’s sane enough to be trusted climbing a ladder, he says, “Put some clothes on and go to your bunk, I’ll join you in a minute.” 

Keonhee gets up, and Dongmyeong finds paper and a pen and scrawls a quick note to leave on Youngjo’s pillow, in handwriting he hopes doesn’t look like his own: “Sorry.” 

And he is, more than that one word could ever convey. He’s sorry to Youngjo for soiling his bed for stupid, self-destructive reasons. He’s sorry to Keonhee for having sex with him when he shouldn’t have, for using him to try and regain some sense of control when he feels like he’s spiraling. It didn’t work. He still feels that fire deep in his chest, that ache in his heart that he doesn’t want to admit he knows the name for. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about Youngjo the whole time he was in his bed with Keonhee. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appreciated <3


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